this is me being silly. it lodged itself in my head and now won't leave, so I must write it!

God must be a
straight white male
because
while Sodom & Gomorrah
burned,
Sappho of Lesbos
ate olives.

Yay! Atom and His Package redesigned his site! Look a lot better now...

but best of all was this post! Gogo cut and paste!
There is a new Atom and His Package full length CD & LP called 'Attention! Blah Blah Blah' to be released on February 11th, 2003.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

must ponder always, stop to stare at ants living in the sidewalk cracks, lean over for kisses, hug on the way to busy places. yes.

you

from my driver's safety course:

Why should you stop 15 feet from the tracks?
1. A person or signal warns that a train is coming.
2. You see a train coming.
3. You hear the horn or bell of a train close by.
4. Section 316.1575, Florida Statutes requires you to stop.

Disregarding the odd phrasing of the "question", I do have to say I really enjoy reason number 4. Why? BECAUSE WE SAID SO!

"let's just write to david bowie again."
"no, he's done enough for this church"
-
"we prefer a faith based emporium, filled with impulse buy items!" (a character on the design of the new "church")

Ah, the simpsons. How I love thee!

Summer Fun Beach Cthulhu

Who DOESN'T need one?

In other news, whoever worked on the florida driver's safety test needs to work on their physics some.
"as an example, you are going 70 mph and the car you strike head on is doing 70 mph. What do you have? Simple, a 140 mph collision."

Which is, of course, totally inaccurate. It's like hitting a large structure at 70 mph that WILL NOT, under any circumstance, move. Oh well.

wow, this is very, very boring. AUGH!

Taking my online safety course, module by module...I'm done with a module in 5 minutes, but I must sit at the page for 30 minutes. So, I'm updating my blog, and watching the simpsons. Eh, it beats sitting in a classroom! Also, it's a simpsons I haven't seen in YEARS, so it's all good, yo! (In case you were wondering, it's the simpsons in which Bart gives blood to Mr. Burns)

probably more posting later, as this is only the 3rd module, and there are quite a few more to go. blah!

hehe,mr. burns: "Hey, there Mr...Brownshoes! How about that local sports team!?"

what is this and where did it come from? I don't like it and want it to be gone. everything's out of place now, and this isn't good. I just want to crawl back into bed...

(added)
why can't I just be happy? I have so many wonderful things in my life right now. I have no right to feel like this. Why is it the better my life gets, the harder I seem to try to fuck everything up?

"I'm going to take you out tonight," he said. "Another Heisenberg dinner."
"What's that?"
"Uncertainty," Edward said crisply. "We know where we are going, but not what we are going to eat. Or vice versa."
"Sounds wonderful. Which car?"
"The Quantum, of course."
"Oh, Lord. We just had the speedometer fixed."
"And the steering went out?"

Greg Bear - Blood Music

http://maddox.xmission.com/junk_the_junk.html

I enjoy this idea. Maybe I'm having an Adbusters moment...

(not quite what we were talking about, but still...scary.)

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/Northeast/01/25/monitoring.libraries.ap/index.html

But hey! don't worry. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to be afraid of, right?

I can't wait until someone can be investigated for what they cook...it's only a matter of time before pitas, ataifs, and baba ghanoush are cause for federal investigation.

booksbooksbooksBOOKS!

Ok. So. Due to a really fun chain of events (which I will explain to some one at a later date), I find myself sitting here at my computer with two books from the UCF library. One is a book I never thought I'd find. The other one is about defining humanity and conscious cells and just...whee! I can't wait to plow into it, but first I have to buy food, then write a news story. And I have to say...I'm not gaining time by sitting here! Hence:

AWAY!

http://news.com.com/2010-1071-982121.html?tag=fd_nc_1

fun fun fun.

know what, though? I'm not cancelling my current Trigun download. I'm on episode one. Twenty-five to go.

I'm feeling ADVENTUROUS.

Consequently, I put the cereal in the bowl before the milk today.

Booya!

Tired. need sleep, but wanted to put SOMETHING new up. So you get this message. A rather pointless one, I must say. Though I will state that...uh....ok. nothing to say. but sleeptime is now!

oh yeah, I can add "go bucs" or something.

oh yeah, and loveyou.

there. that works. especially the 3rd section.

wowowow. 2 hour nap, and now I'm upupupupup(not upupupupupup, because that's a song. yes. or something).

see? look! craziness!

You know I'm happy when I talk to myself. I also talk to myself when I'm overtired....so we may have a dual layer effect right now. Yep. Maybe.

But, doesn't change the fact that I'm HAPPY. and I'm going to buy coffee creamer and ice cream, and I'm gongit o come back here and play videogames I've been neglecting, and do spanish homework so I have more free time this weekend! WOOO!

My roomates, going to bar orlando. Me?Conjugating spanish verbs.

I'm so damn cool.

anyway, that ice cream I'm going to buy isn't getting any closer to my stomach while I'm sitting here, so.....

ADIOS!

Vice-President Fruitly! Oh you're so cool! Vice-President Fruitly! Meet you after school!

What a fun song. Thanks, E!

I'm happy, very happy, and squishy.

Yes.

And now, I think, I sleep! ZOOM!

loveyou

wow, tired. But so much better. so much. yesterday/last night was much needed...

ok, breathing, breathing, breathing. better, hopefully, won't really be able to say until I look back. have to stop thinking and just move and do? obliteration through obligation...pick a weapon. blade/sleep/school/jobhunt

anyone who reads this should probably just ignore it/me. being an idiot.

I fear it may be too late to ward off Mr Spoon. - RSG

it silences the voices only temporarily.
at what point did I lose the ability to stomp this out? or do I just think I had it at one point but never really did?
I just don't understand at all. Why is it so much harder to hold on to what I know, and so easy to let bits of things drawn out inferred speculated upon so completely undo me? There's got to be some way to fix this. It's not logical.

I came home tonight
I felt like I'd die of loneliness
Strange you think, popularity
I'm looking for a simple life,
life ain't simple
I'm sick and tired, I don't wanna be alone
I go to a party, but I don't really want to
So now i'm sitting out here on my porch
writing in the dark air, listening to
my little black cat miau
I'm trying to vent some of the terrible passion
that's coursing through me
There's something about you
There's something about spending the afternoon
asleep in your arms
I hate you
Fucker

eels - fucker (when asked who it was to, e replied it was a letter to himself)

I'm ok and fine. This was written awhile ago, but I want to post it here on my blog...I just didn't feel right posting it here until now. It's blah and irky but it's mine and was for release and to stop me and release in this sense seldom comes out beautifully.

i have my blinds open for fresh
air/
ing out these sheets -
blood
-and-
cum
stained;
but at times apart.

through the blinds in lines
the falling sun does
bleed/
ing out on sa(i)d sheets
and walls as wells
of memories pulling bile
from below

through my blinders in lines
i bleed
out on said sheets
as (oh)my God(y)ess
the moon
has left for a brighter dawn.

...listening to the Get Up Kids covering Close To Me.

Whee!

hey, you. If you read this sometime after you wake up tonight, call me? time's irrelevent in this universe.

scribblescribblescribblescratcherasecutpastedelete.

I'm tryin' to WAKE UP.

working on it. feeling better.

Cy Coe (4:47:30 PM): heh, van der waals. may as well not even HAVE a bond at that point. :P
Cy Coe (4:47:36 PM): I poop on van der waals forces!

oh, the AIM conversations I have...

Cy Coe: hey, what's a good name for a 1980s goth band that's a mockery of itself?

Auto response from (jane): walking like frankenstein

yeah, I'm weird. but it temporarily silences everything.

why is living so much harder than surviving?

I'm tense (text removed here post not deleted because I want to remember I had stuff here. but memanipulativefuck had to be gonegonegone)
ihatethis

The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it's you and that you're standing in the doorway.

oh dear.

please be kidding. please? pretty please?

Job hunt yielded 2 applications.

And...I really felt like writing today. I did. I wanted words to flow, but dammit, it's all just....argh. I hate it. I stated this awhile ago and worked on it for a bit...I don't know. maybe I'm too verbose. maybe I'm too critical of myself. all I know is, I'm a little annoyed with this. I think it would help if I just WROTE, but fingers don't want to seem to do it. perhaps fear of failure? What if I try really hard on this and its crap and I can't write period? blah. Oh well. I'm trying to write it in a differenet manner, but it doesn't seem to be working like this very well. I think maybe it will work better later on in the story due to what will happen. I just need to finish it and see...

Two old friends meet as strangers for the first time in a restaurant. The candle in the center of the table faintly illuminates both faces. She orders the spaghetti with marinara and a decent red wine. She carves swaths into the spaghetti, and then twists it onto her spoon, bending the limp noodles to her will. He orders prime rib, rare, and a pint of Killian’s. The meat seems to recoil from his toothed knife as he tears and cuts the meat into edible bits. Only the soft sounds of chewing are heard, along with sharp metal clinks and dings, and the dull thud of glass set down on a table cloaked in maroon cloth. There is no need for nervous small talk, broken bits of thoughts and sentences malformed and unripe; they are comfortable around each other. For the most part. Unlike the past 3 three years, tonight they are on a slight edge. This is new.

The waiter delivers the bill in a black binder. It is dutifully split between the two friends, who are, first and foremost, just that. They exit the restaurant into the night air violated by the lights of the city, which consume the stars in its black maw. Their footsteps reverberate off of the red brick walls of the ancient buildings and the black asphalt of the street during the several-block walk back to an apartment. Though they are physically separate, they are thinking in parallel lines, echoing eachother.
Does this make sense to you?
It fits.
It’s comfortable.
How long until dawn?

I am off to job hunt. Will report back later.

AWAY!

As I am master of agglutination, it is only natural that I be in immunology lab, bitches!

hehehe, found this while going through my old away messages. Ah, immunology lab. The old molec and micro days.

now I'm a long-haired journalism major...

these are indeed disturbing times.

edited to add:
Here are some other old away messages, saved for posterity!

I'm at New and Improved Organic Chem: The same great taste as regular chem, but now with 40% MORE carbon atoms!
----
Let's get physical!

...in physics lab.
----
I'm out saving the world from unsolved organic chemistry equations. You can thank me later. With money.
---
I'm in Captain Raskin's Amazingly Stupendous Class of Fun and Good Times (also known as the Naptime Power Hour), followed by Statistics...speaking of which, there's a 1 in 1 chance I'll fall asleep in that class, too.
----
Bah! Americal National Government, then Immunology! I'll be back around 2:30, with new knowledge as to how to infect people for the good of the nation!

Dazzling parliament with wits!

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. Seriously.

Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Ceci n'est pas une vie.

Ok. So. I am having WAY too much fun with Plato's Republic.

Sorry!

Point of interest: the other night, I drove to tampa and watched two episodes of Rainbow Bright. Phear me.

Giant Wang Clip: it's been over 24 horus since i got to talk with her
Cy Coe: and...it's been over 24 horus? are we running our clocks on ancient egyptian gods now?
Giant Wang Clip: you psycho freak

Hehehe.
I'm such a bastard.

And hooray for updates!

Yowza!

Rummaging around on the SD message boards and found my "introduction" post from August 11, 2000. Here it is, in all of its randomness!

Hi there. I'm gearing up to go to college, so currently my life is crazy, therefore I have posted little. However, I feel confident enough to inform the thread viewers of the following facts:
I. Hobbies
1. Taking out the trash.
2. Competitive spontanious human combustion.
3. Collecting small European nations.
a. "You're mine now, Belgium!"
b. "You too, Monaco!"

---

Thank you. That is all.


__________________
I'm not insane, I'm just in sharper focus.

Heeee! Now wasn't that fun? I don't remember writing that at all...and I don't remember leaving that bad sentence structure and incorrect spelling of "spontaneous" in there. Oh well.


Also posted this about the same time. Just a silly thing for a silly thread about barfighting. I always did like the timing of this...

Cy, the guy
Saunters in.
Underage, can't buy.
No priors, though, and would like to be hardcore
A'fore
Heading off the the College
Collage of Life.
Steps over missles
And gristles
While he whistles
Symphony No. 5 in c minor, Op. 67
Courtesy of the original Def Pauper
Beethoven.
Dot-dot-dot-dash
There's a gash
On the floor where my headwassplitopenforwritingafreakin'poeminabar.
Sheesh!

What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm cold! I'm lonely! No one understands me! I don't understand me! I want a sausage.

True story:

The other day I was driving around Orlando, and I was behind bus no. 1337.

After sleep, am much better. damn late nights.

why do I (how can I) allow such odd unrelated events to completely fuck me over? I need something. I need a release. I need an enormous meltdown to get everything OUT and maybe start over again? I hate this trigger start-stop-go-cease bullshit I put myself through. I hate the fact that I can't trust my mind or my motivations. I hate the fact that I am so fucking insecure that I even question the validity and purpose of this post. I hate the fact that I want to type more and more and more but don'tknow if I mean it or think it or breathe it. There was a time when asked what I was afraid of most I would have answered "dark water" or "the dark", but lately it's been this thing that lives in my head that's not me...or at least, I hope it's not. Some fractalfractured part of me that needs to be excised&exorcised. out out damn spot.

argh.

brandon, put those away.

I'm listening to The Walkmen's We've Been Had and wishing you were here to dance with me

one and two and three and four and
we are one and two and we dance

This remind anyone of a certain Neil Gaiman poem?

And bah, that guy was a wimp! I played Diablo II for more than 5 hours and I was fine!

...amatuers. :D

I'm really not this callous! I swear!

I took this picture of my eye, and I love it. I didn't mean for it to come out like this, but it did, and...yeah.

In other news, I drove for what very well may have been the greatest four hours of driving I've ever had today starting at 5:10 am.

...thank you.

There is a kitten asleep in my bed and I would be sleeping right now but I'm tiredawake for whatever reason and posting because I'd tell you now but you're asleep and

i love you

The shaggy-maned idol rips into his song - and the audience screams with excitement. Some ecstatic fans storm the stage, wanting simply to touch him. Some want to bear his child. One adoring woman announces she already has. And outside the hell, a horse-drawn carriage waits to whisk the performer away.

Meet Franz Liszt, rock star, circa 1840. And get ready for all the glitter, groupies and gaudy good times of Lisztomania.

Get ready for Russellmania, too. Because the writer/director of this erotic/exotic/electrifying fantasy is Ken Russell, whose works include Women in Love, Altered States, Tommy, Crimes of Passion, Gothic, and The Lair of the White Worm. Lisztomania's story centers on the turbulent friendship of renowned composers Liszt (played by Roger Daltry) and Richard Wagner (Paul Nicholas). But that real-life historical footnote is merely the departure point for Russell. He comes at us with surprise after outlandish surprise. A phantasmagorical pipe organ turns into a silver-winged spaceship. The Pope (Ringo Starr) wears cowboy boots. A part-Hitler/part-Frankenstein monster rises from Wagnerian ashes. And the entire sensory Ferris Wheel of a film spins madly to the electrified sounds of Liszt and Wagner (arranged by Rick Wagner).

The incredible "liszt" of frenzied delights goes on and on in this splendiferous extravaganza, newly reissued in surround stereo. Once again, Russell takes us where no no one else does. Or dares. Brace yourself for Lisztomania. Viewers expecting a polite gathering of people neatly posed on Louis XVI furniture are gonna be blown out of their chairs but good.

From the back of the Lisztomania tape I have sitting here on my desk. Scary, ne?

Crow: Woo! This is going to be the best Homecoming bonfire ever!
Mike: Burn the satanic checker board!
Tom: I thought only witches danced around fires?
Mike: It depends on what you are burning.
Crow: If you are a witch, then you burn wood from a sacred grove each Beltane.
Mike: If you are a paranoid Christian, then you burn witches.
Tom: [In a British accent] And what do we burn besides witches? More witches!

I love MST:3K

I wanted to buy a candleholder, but the store didn't have one. So I bought a cake.

I was at a casino in Vegas, and I was standing in front of a fire exit. A security guard came up to me and said "Sir you'll have to move, you are blocking the fire exit." As if there was a fire, I wouldn't run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

- Mitch Hedberg

Ruth: Greeks own all restaurants everywhere.
Jack: After inventing tragedy, all that was left was food services.

-

Barry: I had the clap a couple of times in college, but who didn't?

- David Ives, Seven Menus

Amy: You win. (Falls into Chuck's arms)
Annie: You lose. (Shows Chuck II the scorecard)
Chuck III: Don't tell me. I lost.
Alma: You didn't lose. We got nine more holes.
Chuck III: The nine circles of hell.
Alma: Well listen. You wanna fuck?
Chuck III: I resign.

- David Ives, Foreplay, or The Art of the Fugue

Trotsky: HA! I've outsmarted destiny! Which is only a capitalist explanation for the status quo!

- David Ives, Variations on the Death of Trotsky

Don: So you forgive me?
Dawn: For making me happy? Yes. I forgive you.

- David Ives, The Universal Language

I have the feeling I'll be putting up many more David Ives quotes over the next few days.

sometimes i stay up really late being bored

I love exploding dog.

So...classes resume in an hour and a half for me. Starting off the a crack of noon with the Politics of Education (which, in Florida, should be easy: take funding from public schools and give it to private), I then move on to Spanish 2, con mi profesora de espanol quien es una profesora de francais tambien. Hm. I think I wrote that correctly. Who knows?

Right now, I'm listening to Nada Surf's cover of where is my mind, which is damn, DAMN good.

And I also have to say...what a weekend it was.

As Keanu Reaves would say:

"Whoa."

-

Jack: No, I want to reek of sex. I want everybody exchanging furtive glances across the room and wondering why the place smells like an aquarium.
Ruth: Like a what?
Jack: An aquarium.

- David Ives, Ancient History

It's a German existentialist film funded by Coke!

only you... : )

insulatinglayers

I was reading someone's advice to someone else about smoking to relieve stress and I thought how horrible that is to tell someone to smoke a little to relieve stress and then I looked down and to the right and I realized that I am not one to be giving advice or ciriticizing advice on stress relief.

Why do I put sleep off now? Why do I put off my escape and safety? What I have sitting before me is what I've been fighting so hard to stop.

Fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuck. I shouldn't be babbling into this thing. I don't know if this is for release or for some fucked-up inner evil I don't even want to contemplate but which forces itself upon me regardless.

I'm going to stop now. This may be deleted later.