I was reading someone's advice to someone else about smoking to relieve stress and I thought how horrible that is to tell someone to smoke a little to relieve stress and then I looked down and to the right and I realized that I am not one to be giving advice or ciriticizing advice on stress relief.

Why do I put sleep off now? Why do I put off my escape and safety? What I have sitting before me is what I've been fighting so hard to stop.

Fuck. fuckfuckfuckfuck. I shouldn't be babbling into this thing. I don't know if this is for release or for some fucked-up inner evil I don't even want to contemplate but which forces itself upon me regardless.

I'm going to stop now. This may be deleted later.