I seen a girl with a guy her hair like yours from what I remember. He took her hand and smiled her name her face like yours she smiled the same from what I remember.

Been so long since last December.

go to bed

They've hung them high in Edinburgh toon

An likewise a their kin

An the wind blaws cauld on a their banes

An tae hell they a hae gaen

bad dreams and snapping awake every 20 minutes for the past two hours out of bed to force and ARGH this is my shout into the night. trying to clear everything from me and make way for sleep.

tired and what can I say?

day was beautiful and I felt you lingering on my lips. I know it is no longer my place to say this, but all day today I wanted to kiss you.

quelling urge to post nothing but song lyrics in italics. what am I, 15?

Italics to Italy.

Friend Rebecca, who graduated with master's from UCF last semester, is putzing around Europe for the next few months. Said I should come visit her. I laughed, until I remembered I have a fair amount of travel money left. I may flee the country for a week or so in mid-December.

The Terri Schiavo case wears me out. Her parents say she can be rehabilited and can communicate. Her husband says she can't, and said to him a long time ago she never wanted to be dependent upon life support mechanisms. Gov. Bush is now intervening in the removal of the feeding tube.

The only things I want to say are these:

To Gov. Bush:
Fuck off. You have no bearing in this case. You have nothing personally invested.

And to the parents:
If she could be rehabilitated, why isn't she? She's been this way for the past 10 years. I doubt anything is going to change with more time.

I'm listening to Death Cab for Cutie, wearing a beret, writing a story about an intramural baseball team at my college and planning a column on robots and cowboys.

could I be any fucking cooler?

the l train is a swell train and i don't want to hear you indies complain.

http://cj4jesus.blogspot.com/

I can't tell if this is real or not...

response to graph paper note soon...probably later tomorrow. classclassclasswritewritewrite.

the Future takes up a lot of my future.

I am now wearing my fish belt once more.

Thank you.

different year, different south cd

By the bumper cars, in the pretty twining light, I may have gone too far, I may have gone too much too long. I'm a dull and witless boy. In the after bars, think I was sullied by a dream: in the killing jar, you and me at war at arms all falling in embrace.

Tell me why you lied and what it is you do to keep your eyes all shiny.

A tawny gypsy girl, sleeping blanketed by stars beneath the tilt-a-whirl where we were coyly caught alone all fumbling with your blouse.

Tell me why you lied and what it is you do to keep your eyes all shiny.

In the rollercoaster din, by the parachutes in saddle shoes you break your shin. But I have never seen two eyes so shiny.

And the sullen beery swine who try to tangle you in sullen beery balls of twine, have they ever seen two eyes so shiny?

The boys in denim vest, smoking cigarettes between their bootblack fingertips, sweetly tipsy by the half-light. The light and the half-light.

Tell me why you lied and what it is you do to keep your eyes so shiny.

decemberists show was good last night. will write more about it later.

Make a circle in the sand
Make a halo with your hands
I'll make a place for you to land
The bus is running, it’s time to leave
This summer’s gone and so are we
So come on baby,
Let’s go shut it down in New Orleans
Come on, baby!
Let's go shut it down in New Orleans
Oh yeah, come on baby, come on baby
Let's go shut it down in New Orleans...

tap tap tap drum drum drum fingers pacing out rhythm, heel of bouncing leg playing a different song..

head full and stomach empty and here in class 5 minutes before it begins. hollow, hollow, everything's made of metal pipes. voice echoes through my bones and spiders makes their homes within me. much different from the 10 fingered creature that walked across my flesh and closed my eyes with a smile. What's it like to close eyes easily? My eyelids fall then wrench themselves shut so that no light may enter and all thoughts stay in. My teeth play their own 16-part symphony of grinding. The strings of my tendons play a vibrato and the voice that snakes through lips hisses and whimpers.

Half of me is ripped out and missing. I think it sits in bloody chunks that rained down on D.C., Atlanta and points north and south.

inspired by story told to me about a small child who spoke four languages.

was walking in UCF library and there is a big "V" with a sign next to it.

Please write a language you can communicate in on a sticker and put in on the V.

I first walked past it, stopped and backtracked.

Thinking of the small child, I scrawled music on a yellow sticker with black marker and affixed it to the board.

last night was not.good. and I'm not whole here right now. fractured and in pieces - worst night in months. sleep descended upon me and I recoiled and curled around myself. lights-on-quick, before shadows buried me. Lights blazed, proving I was alone, and was better off thinking I wasn't.

-

it's been a long day. and I'm not looking forward to tonight.

heh.

it was inevitable,
she said,
folding her black skirt
into halves .

Today Shaver had a tie with 3.5" floppies on it.

How OLD is that tie?

D'oh!

926 words and I've stalled.

Just 80 to go!

if I could only get the right transition...

cinnamon brooms permeate the air at publix, and winter of last year floods my mind

Hi there, Central Florida Future staff!

The articles I wanted to view on orlandosentinel.com were locked unless you are registered.

I wanted a Cherry Coke out of the vending machine here on campus. The Cherry Coke button yielded a normal Coke.

And it's warm.

It's going to be one of those days.

back from the walkmen concert...good show.

Got there at 8, doors were open. Ticket said doors at 8, so I wandered in. It was me and the bands and the employees. I figured I wasn't supposed to be there, and the doors were open for other reasons, but what else did I have to do?

So I sat down at the bar and watched soundchecks. Shortly thereafter I noticed the doors had been closed. About 10 minutes later someone realized I wasn't supposed to be in there and I was asked to leave...oh well. Gave me the opportunity to lean against a building and make a phone call.

The Carlsonics opened - not too bad. I talked to the lead singer briefly as he wandered off stage in the middle of the final song.

The Walkmen played quite a few new songs and the Big Three (for me) - We've Been Had, Wake Up, and Rue the Day...so, I'm happy. Talked to the guitarist / pianist Paul for a bit. Nice guy.

Now I get to go to sleep, wake up, and then pay for all the procrastinating I've done.

Yay.

The leaves are falling back east up north and I am here.

Feeling stuck and empty. Work to do busy work and none of it of any consequence and I smile and laugh and burn oil and desecrate trees to write Features - a lifestyles writer with no life or style. Tired, worn out, frustrated, unfulfilled.

and why did it take me days to understand don't change your plans when it was played in a room with hardwood floors? whether message was intentional or not it was there.

oblivious to begin with, even more so when numb.

concert tonight should be interesting if nothing else.

The leaves are falling back east up north.

all apologies even though no fault lines run through me. tense and stressed and unsure and unknowing.

blind / deaf / mute

very.small.

Drunken disheveled people everywhere. The sober one here, the medication worn off hours ago. Oh the drama. Person one was hanging on for far too long (self delusion I'm-only-doing-this-because-I'm-a-good-friend) left abruptly, offsetting his mood. He's slumped in orange chair bemoaning and blaming himself. Been there, done that. Didn't get the t-shirt - they were sold out. Another roommate found a friend+female in his desk chair doing things that should not have been done anywhere but behind closed door in own furnishings - now pissed and wanting to draw swords.

Only in my apartment.

In an empty classroom in the communications building, talking myself out of buying the new Damien Rice cd.

Nothing planned for the rest of the day except to interview Mike Riegel for my profile feature story. That's due Monday. I have a business story due Tuesday I need to work on...I think I'll write about the Central Florida Future.

Tomorrow is the underwear party...should be interesting if nothing else.

Well, going to wander back home, make some iced tea, eat some spicy chicken wings, and see if I can find some damien rice tracks online.

Oh yeah, and I bought a ticket to the Walkmen today.

I hate going to shows by myself, but damn it, I REFUSE to miss this.

Oh yes, and adding to my annoyance, I found two great errors in the Future...I love the people they hired instead of me. They're so GOOD at their job.

Take this caption, for example. Keep in mind that copy editors write the captions:
Despite the religious connotations, the lyrics however are spiritually ambiguous.

Good job there, guys. Keep up the good work.

Oh yeah, and good job misspelling Dana's name TWICE in her taglines. Hey, at least you got it right once out of the three times it appeared. Not too bad, right?

What, me bitter?

Prof. Brunson gave me a great idea:
I'm saving all of these errors.
Next time I apply for the position, I'm submitting my information in a manilla envelope with the errors pasted around the outside.

In other (more positive) news, I earned one of only two A's on the first editing I test.

Well, Erin cancelled for the Walkmen show. She forgot about it and made other arrangements. Now I have no one to go with.

That's ok.

I'm forgettable anyway.

ew ew ew. dreams had been kind but no more.

up and must write.

urk.

outside it there is a cool breeze.

no clouds.

afternoon sun.

this is when Florida is at its best, spit-shined shoes and tucked in shirts.

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong on a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover,
Go away somewhere all bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong on a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover
Run away, let your heart be your guide
You deserve the deepest of cover
You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free

Tom Petty - Wildflowers

I don't know if you belong somewhere close to me. But the rest holds true.

Ugh. Too early to be up...but I have to find a crime story.

Not.

Pleased.

risked $10, lost $4. Worth it for the company and entertainment.

It's not cold in here but it is and I predict a 15 degree drop once I get under covers and night wraps itself around me.

tiring day.

waking up tomorrow, going to have to find a crime stroy to report on. the neverending joy that is advanced news reporting......

strobe lights and blown speakers fireworks and hurricanes

I am here, and this is happening. Oh well.

Going to harass editor/friend Mike at his weekly poker game in Deltona. This week it's Texas Hold-'em. $20 to play. I'll watch for a bit, then see how much money I can lose.

I have internet back, after yet ANOTHER format of the hard drive.

Argh.
::rubs eyes::
This is giving me a headache.

quickupdate:

In advanced news reporting. oh so bored. losing interest in interest rate discussion.

Got all work done this morning. Quickly, an hour and a half back in bed by 7am.

Might get a new computer.

Got a B on my horrible, horrible PR story. Makes me happy.

Going to play poker tonight in Deltona

God, is Shaver STILL talking about budgets? He is.

And this is from the Orlando Sentinel

[Yorke] didn't speak much all night, saying "hello" a couple of times and introducing a few numbers, but the guy has a sense of humor. It surfaced when he dedicated Thief's "We Suck Young Blood," the first song of two lengthy encores, to media giant Clear Channel, which is promoting the tour.

When the reference sparked boos, Yorke shook his head: "Oh, they're really nice. Really."



I think that's about it for now. Going to go to Best Buy after class. Going to get food, to. But not at Best Buy.

Adios!

Oh yeah, and I got another award for my internet column and CD reviews.

Ha! Shaver just said "There's a guy named Dick Spangler..."

Am I 13 for laughing at that?

Oh well!

the stale taste of recycled air

back in o-town, or somesuch nonsense.

on computer at library since one at home hates me vehemently.

I want to go Home.

Done with PR story done with beat report. Time to study for test at 2.

Go home, write column and reviews.

Curse internet. Not even dialup works at home.

Format once more? Perhaps. If it continues to misbehave, I now (possibly) have $625 for computer that won't eat my essays or prevent my research.

Will have to hand-deliver stories tomorrow morning before flight.

Hungry. Keyboard in this lab is atrocious, needing much force to be applied for typing. Especially the space bar. Slam slam slam.

That is all



run.home.