9.24.2001

Its 3:26am, and I'm debating. Rationalizing. Always am, even with unimportant crap. I know this is important, but my decision will never be known to anyone, hell, the situation will in all likelihood never be known fully, maybe just inferred, so what the fuck difference does it make, really? Why even bother to decide at all, why not just act? What's holding me back? Some tattered rag of self-respect binding my hands? Its 3:46 now, debate partially lost (or won, depending on who's side you take; mine or mine). Its 3:58, and I shouldn't be listening to music, period. Its 4:14. I'm done. I forfiet. I'm going to bed.

9.23.2001

Hey hey, a week since my last post. Sorry for the laziness, but judging from the lack of demands for more posts, I figured it didn't really bother anyone too much. Not much to say, not much to report, just lettin' ya'll know I'm still here and fuctioning fine. Ciao.

9.15.2001

Well, I was good. One week and 3 days. Reset back to zero. Fuck.

9.11.2001

What is there to say? How can one voice cover the silence left by the disappearance of thousands?

9.09.2001

it is just
a little white li(n)e -

To be (is f)or naught -
To be!? that is the best one/
yet.../and only li(n)e
          YouandiandWe
can hope for.

and all we
can inquire about.

Random Undeveloped Pseudointellectual Trash, courtesy of frustration and a haloed hollow.
a lot of sheer crap on this page lately...

9.06.2001

i am the king
of no-thing.

and no-one
makes it happen.

it's good to be king
with a ruby scepter.

Random Undeveloped Pseudointellectual Trash, courtesy of warped ideals and a bent mind.
Like a diluted and slighty more coherant and personally relevant version of Dennis Miller, I have created...

Cy's Rant-o-Rama Vol. 4
Today's topic: MTV
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Cy, everyone and their grandmother's 23 cats have complained about MTV. What's new?" Well, nothing really, I just have a very specific complaint to file with them on certain things they have begun to edit out. MTV has always edited what they wanted to, but now I am noticing something that they have begun to edit out of songs: mention of SI.
I first noticed this a couple months ago. Papa Roach's Last Resort has a lyric "Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding". Guess what was edited out? Well, fuck was erased (gloriously protecting us from a deadly combination of 4 letters), but as well the part cut my arm. Later on in the verse come the lines "Mutilation out of sight / and I'm contemplating suicide". Here, mutilation was edited out, but suicide was left in. I don't know what to make of this. Did MTV figure that while someone might blame the songs they play for a person's own SI, no one would possibly blame them for a person's suicide, so its ok to leave that part in?
Anyway, after first noting this, I considered writing a rant on it, but I figured I didn't have enough substance to babble on about, and maybe it just an isolated case. Two days ago, I witnessed this in another video, Eminem's Stan. Now, I'm not a fan of Eminem, and personally, I couldn't care less if he were to spontaneously combust. However, that song has a line it "Sometimes I cut myself to see how much it bleeds". MTV decided that cut and bleeds had no business being broadcast on air, so out they went.
Why is MTV editing out mentions of SI? Are they afraid of accountability? Will they stop airing Pearl Jam's Jeremy, due to fear of being held responsible for someone running amok in a school? MTV glorifies degredation of women, alcohol abuse, and numerous other things...but oh no! Can't mention cutting! What a bunch of bullshit. MTV, edit out what you want to. But if you're going to try to get rid of all unpleasantness shown on your channel, then do it. Go off the air.

Sorry, this came of much more whiny, bitchy, and heavy-handed than expected. I'll make up for later with Rant-o-Rama 5, whenever that's done...

Look for Cy's Rant-o-Rama Vol. 5, coming to a blogspot near you.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! They changed the release date on the Kenna CD to DECEMBER 31ST! DAMMIT!

9.05.2001

I'm sitting here drinking instant coffee (hey, its not THAT bad...besides, we're lacking in real coffee at the moment) listening to Morphine's The Night in complete amazement...that's about it. Oh, and for those who are confused...that error message isn't really one...

9.04.2001

I've been screwing around with javascript and html...
Today he snapped

(awake in a bed
      stained with un-reason
and sheets
      shredded with uncertainty
and scrawled
      in a green book
about (v)a(i)ngels
      in black ink
and slunk
      back to bed
to thrash and crash).

Random Undeveloped Pseudointellectual Trash, courtesy of warped ideals and a bent mind.

9.01.2001

Oh yeah, and the Kenna cd is titled New Sacred Cow and comes out the 4th of this month, thankfully...any longer and I'd go insane.
An observation:

Whoever said "you can't buy happiness" didn't buy the right music.
I currently have two (small) stabwounds on my ring and middle finger of my right hand, courtesy of Immunology lab. We needed to make slides of blood cells, and I'll be damned if I'm going to use some mystery person's. Why 2 wounds, you ask? Couldn't get enough blood out of the first one. Eh, what're you gonna do?

Heard an unbelievably great song tonight...Hellbent by Kenna. Tomorrow I go on a quest to find the CD and buy it, price be damned.

Oh, and I've fucked up again. Grazie.
Addendum to concert info: songs played
Perfect Blue Buildings
Catapult
Mr. Jones
I Wish I Was A Girl
All My Friends
Oh Suzanna
No Scrubs
Hangin' Around
Long December
Have You Seen Me Lately
4 or 5 songs off of their upcoming album

That's all I can think of for now...