ATTENTION WATER COMPANY: I did NOT use 48,000 (yes, forty-eight THOUSAND) gallons of water over two months. Obviously, you are all idiots. Look at previous bills. We go from a usage of 430 to 48,190? Does that sound odd to you? Yes, this bill was for 2 months. That should make this bill equal to approximately 860 gallons, leaving a mere 47, 330 gallon difference. And yes, my roomate's toilet was leaking. But...was it leaking at the rate of 64.6 gallons per hour?

When I become dictator of the world, you shall all face my wrath. I'll put you all under a fountain that will pour water over you at a rate of 64.6 gallons per hours until you are completely dissolved.

So start Scotch-Guarding yourselves now.